Straight Girls Are Funny

Last night I went to a birthday dinner for one of my good friends who happens to be straight. Her attire preparations for this dinner were weeks in the making. She originally wanted to wear a cute, flowy, magenta, cobalt blue, and black Betsey Johnson dress. A few days prior to the event, she emailed me and said she thought that dress wasn't flirty and sexy enough because it wasn't above knee length and had no plunging neckline. I recommended sticking with that dress since I'm all for being sexy not slutty. Well she decided not to listen to me and bought a new shorter bustier version of the old dress. The day before her birthday bash, she got a tip from another friend (also straight) that she should get her makeup professionally done. She also wanted my opinion on this. Well I don't know any dyke who has ever had her makeup professionally done for a birthday party or at all for that matter. I didn't even have mine done for my wedding! But, as a good friend, I told her to do it if it would make her feel better.

Finally, when I arrived at her house, I have to say she looked amazing. But then again, I think she looks cute without the fake eyelashes, heavy makeup, and falsie enhanced cleavage. She even went temporarily blind for the evening because she didn't want to wear her glasses! I began thinking about all these crazy things that women do to supposedly increase their odds of getting noticed. I thought for a minute that it was just a straight girl thing but maybe not. Yes, the heteros may take first place in this competition. But we aren't that innocent either in our attempts to transform ourselves into what we think others are looking for. The problem happens when the lashes come off, the glasses go back on, and the C cup turns to A. Aren't we looking for the person who is going to love us in that version of ourselves? I knew I had the girl of my dreams when she thought I looked sexy in my Yankees baseball cap and softball uniform. So when you're in search of Ms. Right, it's OK to make an effort to look good but don't do it at the expense of losing who you really are. She doesn't want to have to peel off the layers to find the real you.